the stargazer

The night is on
The moon has lost its half
Eaten by darkness
Like an inverted semi arc it floats
Amongst the thick dark clouds
Its countenance bleak

A stargazer, I stand under this great night sky
A cool wind breezes by

No more the nights are dark
Like the star spangled sky
The earth is lit by the hands of men

No more does the bird have a night sleep
He is kept awake by the neon by his side
For him his sun never sets
Waned he cries all the night
His dreams are stolen by this yellow light
Shining bright by his side

A weakling with a sharpie
Comes under this great carpet
He isn’t awestruck by the stars
Cos he is burdened inside
He doesn’t smile at them as he used to
Face down with a heart heavier than head
He sits on that lone stone


His hands doesn’t move
His thoughts run wild
Among the woods of imagination
He puts his head between his legs
Holds the leg tightly with his hands
None can see what he is doing
Under this cold dark night sky
Is he lamenting?
What is lamenting for?

As a ship tossed down
By a huge wave
He falls down
Is he breathing?

I, the stargazer, stand
Under this dirty rug
I feel this world is inverted
The things meant to be up
Has come down

I walk to the man on the lone stone
He has fallen and not risen
I take this paper from him
Scribbled are the words that mean nothing to me
Maybe his words would have deceived him
He summoned but they didn’t come
Lost for words
An empty pen by his side
Seven lines remain
“I was lost
To be found by this divine light so precious
Painted me in red
No more alone
No more in pain
I’m taken on the wings of angels
I’m called”

These are his last words
If it makes sense to you my friend
I want you to find this divine light

Written by Vinal Raj R
On Friday 27th November
Time: 2am

Pilgrim of Silence

I hold these roses, tightly
Inside my hands
Its thorns pushed inside my skin
Drops of blood
Stream down to the earth

I stand in this long queue
Waiting for my turn
To place this bunch on that black box
To weep at my dear friend’s departure

He said that he was pilgrim of silence
He said that he romanced silence
He said that this revelry was maddening
Revelry of talk
His words were few

I saw his books on his table
Stacked high as walls
I saw him trying hard to find
That word to show his feeling,
To express his heart,
He never poured out a drop
His face dry as desert

He said one day
He would strengthen his legs
For a pilgrimage,
Where is heart would revel in peace
Where he would sleep with silence

Clouds Heavy and dark
Waits to pour down

I have come close to the pilgrim
His face hidden under this wooden box
I don’t know if he is smiling down there
I wish I knew his last words

In silence
He lies
His wishes granted
A gentle breeze blows

I’m the last one to throw
This bouquet of flower
To his hardened heart

On his epitaph
I read “I’m the pilgrim of silence
And I have found my pilgrimage”

Written by vinal raj r on August 31, 2009.
Time: between 7:30 pm and 10:30 pm

when i was born
as you know
i came crying
but this world was quite different
i didn't have anything tagged to me

with the lids of my eyes slightly opened
i saw the smile of my mother
covered in love and life
i was taken to my father's hand

before i got a name
i didn't have a religion
i was just a creation of heavenly Father
then, i was free
to crawl anywhere
to touch anything that didn't hurt me
i was inside the bossom of freedom

Today, I'm a man
the leisure of my childhood is taken away
i'm tagged down by religion
my hands tied down by knowledge
the smiles that adored
has drifted to oblivion

today, my thoughts have boundaries
kept by the world
if my words break it
I'm the outcast, rebel on the run

i'm waiting for that glorious day
as the Holy scriptures say
i will be lifted to the kingdom of Freedom
where i'm no longer a man or a child
where i'm not pained by the emotions or the words
where i will not have pen down to show what's inside
cos i will be empty...

written by vinal raj r
on 21st of july 2009

Cloth of night

Cloth of night

Here I stand naked,
I’m cold
My bones shiver
Scandalous is the air

I see the teeth
Like hyenas', laughing
Devils on prowl
He has the fork with him
I’m afraid

Light has died down
Darkness crowns the corners
I’m chained down by the weights
Of what I thought yesterday

My nails have grown
Someone smiles by that corner
I’m in stench,
Filth of the yesterdays’
Enrobing me
My skin is no more white
Eaten by the moss,
Green I’m

I’m inside the womb of night
I’m closer to grave
Closer than I have ever imagined

I’m dead, no more do I see the light
I can’t hear what you say
Or what you do to me

No I haven’t sold my soul to the devil
I wake up from this dreadful dream
I open my eyes to a brand new day
Opened by the infinite grace
I have removed the cloth of night
I have the light with me
Driving out the devil with fork
I’m not afraid anymore

Written by vinal raj r on July 15, 2009
Time: 2:25 am

Today i took a ride
on a brand new vehicle
its not the one with black tyres
no it doesn't even have a metal casing
this one-seated travel machine
is one of a kind
its the vehicle called "MEMORY"

climbing on it i took the road
to my childhood
to the path that i can't forget
the red nosed clown
the glitteri by the side
the gaint wheel
everything was here
slowly i moved thru the streets
saw big theatres
i stopped by one of them
to see, what it was playing
took the ticket
the roll moved
the silver screen came alive
it shew the time

when i was that child
who climbed the tree
found it amusing
when the ants marched in straight lines,
when milliped sped to a destination unknown,
when the butterfly fluttered around me,
and i running in vain to catch them

from there i moved to another
on its door i saw a big A encircled
i went inside i saw my youth
i saw my friends
some of whom i have forgotten
some i still have
i saw my friend with whom
i used to go home with
i saw oursleves on the tracks
when my heart pounded a lil more
than it is used to
then i saw a dark room
faintly lighted by a candle
where i was alone

and then i came out
i had so many shows left
but i choose to come back
to where i'm now

and for sometime the vehicle stays
alone in the garage
which some day
i will start once again

the flower that i loved

I write this poem for that

Beautiful flower in my garden

Do you know? This was the only flower

In my vast, pompous and great garden

That I liked?

I still remember the day

That its tiny bud blossomed to a

Beautiful flower

How splendid it looked,

Like a beautiful lady

Adorned in diamond,

That’s how I felt

When the sun’s rays fell on the dew

Which it held like a precious ornament

Its robe didn’t fall off

When the wind came

Nor did the rain smash it down

Tiny and big bees

Loitered around it

Even the butterflies

Meditated on it

Now I have this graceful flower

Just before me

In this ceramic vase

Allured to its beauty

I didn’t want it to be blown away

With the wind

So I talked with someone

Who could help me

He said there is a secret potion with him

That can keep it alive as long I live

You know how much I loved it, right?

I dedicated my evenings for it

I would watch it sway with the winds

Dancing with the gentle breeze

So I said to this man

Tell me how much it costs

Do you know how much it cost me?

How could you know?

Cos I’m the one who paid for it

It cost me my garden

I gave him my years flower

A grand collection that I had

For this one flower

That I have started to feel

Has lost its beauty

The potion doesn’t work well on it

But I still keep this one particular flower

Always, before my eyes

I love you,
Because of you I can't close my eyes
It’s you I think of, thru out the day

I hope everything is fine with you
Cos’ it’s been a while that we met

I still remember the last talk
And the walk we had
Thru that green valley
My heart leaped in joy
When you sat on my lap

I loved the simple talk that we had
You sharing your happiness’s
And the times you were sad
It hurt me when that person
Broke your trust
And, overjoyed when you forgave that person

Do you know how much I miss you?
It’s been long time since we talked
If only you could tell me what happened
Was it something that I did?
Or did you ever feel that,
I didn’t see that tear rolling down from your eyes?

No my darling! Your tears
I have stored it inside these jars beside me
(To remind me of your sorrows)
My hands took it off from your face
Do you believe that liar that I want to see you cry?
Never my beloved! It’s never like that!

Do you know how much I love your deep, dark, beautiful eyes?
Do you know how much I hate it seeing wet?
If you had known my heart my dear,
You would know how affectionately I love you
Do you know how it pains my heart when you are away?

Now, I stand right beside you hoping
To embrace you
To walk with you on the green meadows
To see that benign smile on your face
To hear your sweet voice



Will you not hear me?
It’s your Father
Just let me put my arms on around your shoulder
Will you not come to me and walk with me?
I promise to be with you
Till you come up here
To the home that I made for you
The heaven

the rail shines 

when sun's rays fall on it 

the surroundings, stark

un-cleansed, the rodents run

helter skelter

Finding bits of leftover

or fighting with the ravens 

a little dog lies there

its fur eaten by disease 

it licks it's bloody wound 

stricken by the hunger 

the bones shows out 

in a distance i hear a sound 

and i see the dog run to safety 

Limping, on its three legs

the platform becomes crowded 

souls run in hurry

i guess the time is taking them

and not vice versa 

as i step onto the comforts of my seat 

Easily i forget the dog that 

limped 

yes, time is a teacher 

as i learn today from the grown dog 

at the platform 

he limps, but, not bothered by the ravens 

he is not the victim 

now, he decides who eats!

i was depressed today 

i lost all that i held precious 

even my hope 

now, when i see that dog 

he barks at me and says 

"hey, you are the one who drives the situation, don't let it ride over you!"

then, i find the divine plan 

that taught me to learn from the ants 

right beside me!

yea, even a limping dog 

can cheer me up! 

my poems

i have been writing for long, that starts from the 8th standard, its the poem that i write. it consists all from spiritual to the romanticism. never erotica. till now my poems hasn't seen the sunlight. just because i didn't want to. i write it for my happiness and to kill the ugly face of depression. so after a long time i decided that, i would share what i write to this world. no! there is no particular reason to this decision but its just another decision. just like the decision you take in front of the movie house, when you don't have anything in particular to do and you have a sack full of time to to throw away. so if you want to read or criticize you are welcome to do so. so Happy reading.